


Be Better

by violet569



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Time Travel, And Everyone Wants to Give Him One, BAMF John, Doomed Timelines, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, He's Probably Too Op, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, I Don't Even Know, Ill Do More of These When I Think of Them, John Needs A Hug, Mild Gore, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Suicidal Thoughts, Tags Contain Spoilers, There's a lot of characters - Freeform, This Is STUPID, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Time Shenanigans, Time Travel, Time Travel Fix-It, Timeline What Timeline, Yesh This is Taking Forever to Do, do people even read these, i think, no beta we die like men, no really
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-11
Updated: 2019-07-11
Packaged: 2020-06-25 17:17:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19750228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/violet569/pseuds/violet569
Summary: It wasn't supposed to be this way.He wasn't supposed to be alone.But he was.And he was willing to do whatever it takes to fix everything again.





	Be Better

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Once More](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11726601) by [ODDstar](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ODDstar/pseuds/ODDstar). 



==> Reader: Start at the End 

**_-It wasn't supposed to be this way.-_ **

The battlefield was strewn with bodies. Blood of all colors decorated the sand like an abstract painting. Gouges were scattered across the dunes creating craters of destruction as far as the eye could see. The eternal sun beat down mercilessly on the only two figures still standing. One was a hulking mass of a humanoid, the other humanoid a third of its height.

**_-He wasn't supposed to be alone.-_ **

His throat closed off its own accord, threatening to cut off his air supply. He was so hot, so tired, so _scared_ , but he couldn't stop now ~~he already had been stopped~~ . They were counting on him ~~not any more~~ . They'd been counting on him since the beginning ~~no they hadn't~~ . He couldn't stop now and disgrace their memory ~~even though he already had~~. He had been their leader and he'd failed them, so he needed to do everything in his power to fix it.

**"BACK WHERE IT ALL BEGAN. REALLY EGBERT** , **DID YOU ESCAPE AND COME ALL THE WAY BACK HERE JUST TO DIE WITH YOUR FRIENDS' CORPSES? HOW PATHETICALLY SENTIMENTAL OF YOU!** " The larger, green humanoid gnashed his teeth, a golden fang the prominent feature of his snarl. Cue balls flashed in the sockets of his skull-like face where eyes should have been.

**-** **_But he was._ ** **-**

John breathed heavily, left eye closed to keep the blood running down his brow out of it. His right eye blazed with fury, a hurricane swirling within his blue iris only barely contained. Maroon and a few other colors matted his dark hair and god tier clothes making them stiff, but it'd been there long enough to not bother him ~~he didn't let himself think about it~~. He would have held a weapon in his hand if he'd had any left. It didn't matter what had happened to his weapons, but all he had left was his fists and the Breath on his side.

Lord English cackled, and John was tempted to take the provided opportunity to attack, but he knew better. He'd already died one too many times by a falsified opening. He couldn't afford to be distracted. His friends were counting on him ~~don't look at their bodies~~. Yes, he'd come back to see them, but it wasn't the only reason. He was saying goodbye. He had one last mission after all.

Once Lord English's laughter ceased, he glared sharply at John with a smug grin. **"YOU USED TO BE LOUDER, HAVE MORE FIGHT IN YOU, BE MORE** **_FUN_ ** **. IS THAT BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT WINNING THE GAME YOU STARTED?"** His grin widened, splitting his face in two. **"YOU'VE KNOWN IT THE WHOLE TIME, HAVEN'T YOU? YOU WERE ALWAYS DESTINED TO LOSE TO ME!"** His jaw unhinged, light building in the back of his throat.

Throughout the years of war with the Cherub, John had learned the alien's tells and patterns of attack, and programmed his own reaction until it was instinct. Some would argue that knowing the attacks is different from actually being able to avoid them, however, John has been at it for years.

In a movement faster than a blink, John dove to the side as a beam of pure energy crackled past him, carving through the sand like soft butter. Breath curled like gauntlets around his arms as he came up standing, and he shot a high pressured blast of air towards Lord English. The Cherub cut off the beam just in time to bring up an arm, the air crashing against it and dispersing. He charged the Heir, but John was already off and running, dashing between the bodies to find a specific one ~~he could find them all without trying~~.

Eyes darting over the corpses ~~that should have degraded long ago~~ of friends, he looked for the combination of blonde and red. There was a familiar sound of energy crackling and he rolled to the left since it was louder to the right, and felt the sting of energy as the beam shot past him. John quickly dispersed into wind when his instincts screamed, and the beam swung around to where he'd just been. As soon as it passed, he was running again. Where was… there!

John couldn't stop the hitch in his breath when he spotted the Knight of Time face down on the sand ~~Jade would have cried her heart out~~ . It wasn't the original, but it didn't need to be ~~any Dave was his best friend~~. Any Dave that fought in the war would have it, but once it was pulled out of their sylladex, it would vanish from them all.

With only a simple thought, a barrier of wind swirled around him and the body. It was only a temporary shield, he knew from experience, but it should hold for the time he needed. Turing to his friend, he tried to look at it clinically, but all he could see was his best friend's corpse. His vision blurred, chest tightening and breath stuttering. His knees met sand as he sank to the ground. No, he couldn't start grieving now ~~even though it's been so long~~ . He had to continue ~~but was it for them or himself?~~. With shaking hands, John rifled through the dead Dave's sylladex, grabbing the card and pulling it out. A pure white key appeared in his blood crusted hand, flickering with energy from the Green Sun, just like the guardian's used to. It was the universe's last resort.

**_-And he was willing to do whatever it takes to fix everything again_ ** **.-**

There was an enraged roar from behind John, and he knew he was out of time. In a gentle motion, he brushed Dave's blonde hair out of his face, shades long gone, eyes blank with a heroic death. "So long, best bro. I-I'm so sorry for everything," he whispered softly, his voice hoarse from disuse. He wished he could have said goodbye properly to him ~~and everyone else~~ , but he felt Breath nudge him, urging him on.

_You must go now, my_ _Heir_ _. The shield will break any second now._

John's eyes hardened, and he looked up to the Cherub that was pushing a claw through the wind barrier, snarling at the boy. John tried for a smile, but felt a grimace take its place. Lord English may be strong, adapting and getting stronger, _but so was John_.

"Release it."

_Of course._

The shield exploded outwards, shoving Lord English back and skidding in the sand. John shoved the key in front of him, turning the key in the air like he was unlocking a door. An invisible door swung open, light shining through, and John stepped into it.

And he was greeted with The Door, which was a plain white door sitting at the back a grey circular platform. The invisible door behind him shut, abruptly cutting off the blood curdling roar of anger from Lord English. Compared to the wind of the desert and sounds of battle, the empty void and absolute nothingness around him felt suffocating. It was too quiet, and his set his nerves on edge, even though he knew that the only living things left in the universe was himself, the horror terrors, and Lord English ~~everything else had been destroyed~~ . That, and The Door. He remembers the door from the trolls ~~who were all dead because of him~~ . Opening the door would complete the game. No one knew exactly what would happen, because Jack Noir ~~who was long dead too~~ had arrived before they could open it.

John knew that the door wouldn't open if the universe didn't believe the game was finished. However, there was an override. An escape for a single person to fix everything. It had to work ~~he didn't know what he'd do if it didn't~~. The thing about being alone, was that he had nothing to lose, and minutes before Lord English found him.

John took a step and he crumpled ~~Dave would have held him up~~ , his legs failing to support him, and Breath scooped him off the ground and into its embrace.

_There is no time to cry, my_ _Heir_ _._

He couldn't help it, he shook with the beginnings of silent sobs. He wasn't grieving, not yet, but that didn't matter. No matter what lied behind the door, _he was leaving his friends behind_ _e ~~ven if they were all dead~~ _ ~~.~~ He wouldn't leave them behind he was their leader and they were his rock and he _needed_ them he couldn't be _all alone again_ —

_You are never alone._

John took a deep breath in. Held it. Then out with a shaky breath. "Thank you, Breath." He'd always have Breath, even when there was no one else ~~but sometimes even that wasn't enough~~.

In the first year of the war against Lord English, he began to hear the voice of his aspect. Apparently, he was the first one to do so. Later on, others started hearing theirs, but his relationship with his aspect was by far the strongest.

_You're very welcome. Now, go forth and complete the task, knowing that I will always be by your side._

With renewed energy ~~it wouldn't last~~ , John allowed Breath to lower him and walk towards the door on his own. His steps were more confident than he felt, but he kept going. He could feel the slight tremors that wracked his whole being, but he pushed through it. His body protested with every movement, but he wouldn't let it stop him.

Once in front of the door, he took a deep, shaky, breath. This was it. This was his chance to fix everything…

So why was he hesitating?

There was nothing left for him here, nothing except pain, death, and heartache. He had a sickening feeling that he was missing something, like he was forgetting something important. There was just an unsettling feeling in his gut that he couldn't dismiss as just nerves. Something had changed since his time in captivity ~~or was his mind still playing tricks on him?~~. Then John heard something in the distance, his senses even sharper since the beginning of the war.

Lord English.

The sound of him getting closer spurred John on. He lifted the key sparking with green energy and inserted it into the dark keyhole positioned just underneath the doorknob. He turned the key, and the door lit up, sparking with the Green Sun's energy. With his left hand, he reached up and grabbed the doorknob. He yelped, jumping back as it seared him ~~Rose would have scolded him for being so careless~~. It felt as if his hand was being scorched from the inside out, and the feeling quickly climbed up his arm and spread throughout his entire body. Then, just as quickly as the feeling had come, it vanished from everywhere except the palm of his left hand.

There was something behind John, and he knew it could only be one person. He slowly turned, eyes sharpening and form rigid. "Lord English," he said as a greeting, voice steady and betraying none of the emotions he felt inside.

" **QUITE THE CHASE YOU LET ME ON, EGBERT. DESPITE YOUR CHEAP AND ULTIMATELY FUTILE PARTY TRICK, YOU COULDN'T GET AWAY. DID YOU REALLY THINK YOU COULD ESCAPE ME?** "

John didn’t allow his composure to crack, the corner of his mouth to twitching up in response. "I know I can't."

The Cherub's cueball eyes narrowed. **"THEN YOU'RE MORE STUPID THAN I THOUGHT. YOU’RE GOING TO JUST ACCEPT YOUR FATE AND STOP RUNNING NOW. THERE'S NOTHING LEFT IN THE UNIVERSE FOR YOU."** He took a threatening step forward, but John didn't move.

"You're right," and if John had been any younger, his voice would have cracked easily. It almost did as he was now, by raw emotions and lack of use alone. "Not in this universe."

That's when he realized what was stopping him from turning the doorknob. He didn't know what would happen when he did. It was the fear of the unknown that held him back. He'd said what he had to Lord English on a whim, because he didn't know. He didn't know if the door would drop him into a different reality, revive his friends and family, destroy Lord English, ~~kill him~~ or _anything_.

And he was terrified of it.

Lord English's words had yanked him back into a more present mind space though, because it reminded him that despite everything that had happened so far, the key was a chance. A chance to right his wrongs and hopefully fix his mistakes, and he wasn't going to waste it.

For a brief moment, he had a flash of deja vu. Everything the same. The Cherub grinning down maliciously at him, the dull throb of his left hand, the empty space around them and the door behind him. It almost felt like he was seeing a different him, more scared and more terrified of the task ahead. That’s who he’d been merely seconds ago.

_Now_ , John thought, determination flooding his veins, _I'll be better._

Lord English lunged and John blasted him back with a violent air current without a second thought. Using his left hand again, the pain having faded to tolerable levels, he yanked open the door and dashed into the bright light, leaving a roaring Cherub behind, before he felt the door close behind him.

==> Reader: Go Back to the Beginning 

**Author's Note:**

> This is 100% an experiment to see what I can do with my writing, practice, and see if people like this kind of stuff! TBH I hop around from story to story so updates will be less than consistent, but I hope to get a lot done before my brain jumps to something else! And of course, thank you so much to ODDstar for assisting me with the starting process! If you haven't read their story ( the one that this one was based off of), go do it and treat yourself!


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